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Old Jan 26th 2017, 01:59 PM   #1
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Dear George...

Courtesy of The Book of Faces:



Dear George,

We just want to drop you a line before the season starts.

Hang on...does that say "Flexy-Boy on your leathers? Who the fuck approved that? Has Gigi seen that?

Fuck. Anyway, look, we have spent a metric shit-ton of money on you this year. A. Metric. Shit. Ton.

To make that money back we have to sell 786,545 Ducatis in the next three years. Now even if every soft-bearded, bobble-head bought like five of them Scramblers, and every rich sad-man bought seven Panigales, the accounts department reckons we're still gonna run a bit short.

So our investment in you, George, is large.

It needs to pay the fuck off. And the only way it can pay off is if you start winning races and bring home a title.

It's been 10 years since we last won anything. And the bloke who won that...well, he comes and goes and we still pay him, but he tells us how far away he lives and how that's a problem, and then turns up and rides faster than either you or bloody Dovi in testing.

We think the only thing you two have in common is your hatred for that Rossi prick. We get that. We hate him too, especially after we paid HIM a metric shit-ton of money to tell us how fucked our race bikes were.

So anyway, testing is on again real soon. You need to hit the track running. Never mind the jet thing. We only made that so we have some kind of gimmick to sell bikes from down the track a bit.

Focus on being quick and not crashing. We need that fucken title and we need it this year.

George, look at us. We're not fucking around. Don't make us cut you. We will. We're Italians who are owned by Germans. You know what that means.

Love,

Ducati Motor Holding S.p.A.
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Old Jan 26th 2017, 02:02 PM   #2
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LOL, this is awesome!
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Old Jan 26th 2017, 02:15 PM   #3
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HAHAHAHA pure gold!
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Old Jan 26th 2017, 03:30 PM   #4
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Hell YES!! Funny as sh1t.. Rogue, maybe you have too much time on your hands...
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Old Jan 26th 2017, 03:42 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by 80shilling View Post
Hell YES!! Funny as sh1t.. Rogue, maybe you have too much time on your hands...
I didn't come up with it but yes I do.

I work 106 days on and 53 off. Those 106 days on are spent in shit hole countries with not much to do other than cruise FB and the forums.
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Old Jan 26th 2017, 04:25 PM   #6
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Rogue---That is "Priceless"
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Old Jan 26th 2017, 04:35 PM   #7
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Hahaha.
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Old Jan 26th 2017, 06:53 PM   #8
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Rogue.....what can I say.....awesome !!! I was in stitches.
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Old Jan 26th 2017, 06:55 PM   #9
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Permission to steal this for my Desmo FB group?
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Old Jan 26th 2017, 06:57 PM   #10
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Originally Posted by Twistedracer View Post
Permission to steal this for my Desmo FB group?
haha. same.
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