Vicati, glad you were able to make it out of that wreck. I'd say you're more than a little lucky to be here if you actually came off at 190.
I think all of us are actually on your side, and dont want anyone to get hurt. That being said, instantly blaming the steering damper because you had a high speed tank slapper is extremely naive and convenient to pass the blame. Just another accident waiting to happen. Like others have said as well, even IF it did fail, it didn't cause the crash. How are you so positive it failed? Did you see the DES light in the .00001 seconds between the slapper and flying through the air? I've had a couple 100+ tank slappers on my 1299. In fact one of my steering stops is broken off from it. I didnt go home and blame the dampener. There's lessons to be learned.
You said you had the suspension completely serviced. Did you check the geometry afterwards?
I've seen the DES light many times over the 27k miles I've put on my bike. I'll agree with you there, mechanical is much more reliable. When the DES light comes on, I honestly dont feel a ton of difference in the suspension and I dont cruise along at 50 either. I dont claim to know how the suspension works in failure mode, but from my experience it doesn't go to softest settings. If you think about it, it would only make sense it would stay in the mode it was in at the time of failure especially if you already have it in fixed mode.
Get well, learn from it, and maybe hire a forensics team to really find out what happened.